#78

There are times I think that I am too afraid to be happy...for some odd reason, I don't know why. I could be having a happy moment and out of no where, I just feel like stepping back because being happy, to me, just doesn't seem...right.

Is it because I somehow think that when I'm too happy, something bad will unexpectedly hit me in the face and take everything away from me? Yes, I'm very afraid indeed. In the past, it was always when I felt happy... that important things & people got taken away from me. It kind of made develop a phobia towards being happy I guess.

Hopefully, this will all go away. I just wanna be happy without having to worry about it. I know if I keep on going like this, it is bad for myself and most importantly, those around me.